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A guy by the name of George died and found himself waiting to be let into Heaven. As George stepped up the gates Saint Peter asked him his name. George answered and Saint Peter ran his finger down the list. "I'm sorry, you're not on the list. I'm afraid I can't let you in."

"There must be some mistake. I've lived a very decent life on Earth. The only thing that I've done wrong was cuss the other day on the golf course."

"Well, why don't you tell me what happened," said Saint Peter.

"Well, I was on the 13th hole, and I drove the ball stright into the mud. Since it was my last ball, I had to play it the way I had found it. There was a big grove of trees in the way."

"Is that when you cussed?" asked Saint Peter.

"No,"said George," I took a swing at it, and I completely missed the ball."

"Is that when you cussed?"

"No," replied George," I decided to take another swing at it. I hit it with all my might and it popped out of the mud, flew over the trees, onto the front of the green, and rolled about 12 inches away from the flag."

Said Saint Peter, "JESUS CHRIST! YOU DIDN'T MISS A GODDAMNED ONE FOOT PUTT, DID YOU?"